Initially I was feeling a little bit down, then I realized that different people may have different effect on others.
After working in this new company, there's mixed feelings. Happy cos I am finally rid myself of the panic attack and diarrhea problems, not to mention having a stable income albeit its low. But on the other hand, it does creates a certain inconvenient situation as well. That in turns leads to me feeling a bit down. It does brings back some unwanted thoughts, almost similar to those when I was in depression, but not quite the same as well.
But then I thought of my boyfriend and how we started out. How things were and how I felt back then. At times I know I have taken him for granted. And how sweet he is when things goes really bad for me. He may be a bit tough to take but everything he does, he does it, usually, with a good reason. And mostly for me, for the future and things like that.
Right now, for unknown/unfounded reason, I can't seem to shake off a certain feeling. It's annoying cos it's preventing me from resting ( need to wake up early for work ), but I am trying my best to find out what is it. Is it due to work? Cos my whole body, first shoulders, then back, now legs and to my heels and ankles are sore and aching, and I got a bad feeling I am gonna be robot like cos of all the stiffness I am feeling now. Its so overwhelming.
Yesterday missed 3 buses cos they were fulled and the bus driver refused to stop and I walked to work from home and reached there with barely 1 minute to spare. Today same situation except this time I flagged down a cab and reached with 5 minutes to spare. Don't make me start going on how I am gonna be on my feet whole day tomorrow, the day after and the day after that.
I am praying that I can make it to work on time tomorrow by riding on the bus. Trying to keep my expenses low now. Hmm, I think I am getting tired cos I kept on misspelling. Pray I can rest well too... May everyone have a sweet dreams and be happy all day long~!
No comments:
Post a Comment