If I am currently working, I may probably sign up or pay the $78 without hesitation, especially if it claims that it is going to get rid of my ridiculous anxiety attacks and diarrhea FOREVER and return the old me that used to run about and have fun.
I do have slight doubts in whether is the Triad Technique effective as it claims to be. Though I can't deny the fact that it has hit every nail in the head when it comes to everything that happen to me. I mean, I totally believed, till just now, that no one will ever understand what I have been through, and it is totally impossible for me to put it in words, let alone express it to the close ones around me, but this totally took words out of my mouth, or more like directly from my heart and mind.
This is possibly the closest chance to me being able to get treated permanently, with a slight problem. I distrust internet payment and I fear of being scammed. Being an avid online gamer, it has always been a pride for me of not being scammed.
To sign up or not? Will it really treat my anxiety problem and my fear of my heart not being able to work any longer? I really do not know...
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Is someone up there playing with my life?
Many things happened this week that I have absolutely no idea where to start...
Hmm... Maybe a congratulation to myself for landing a job, close to my home too, just one bad thing... The salary is way lower than expected and even before I start working, I feel as if there is a lot of expectation set for me... No wonder the lady working there told me the company is extremely stingy...
I'm trying to keep a positive mindset, cos, who knows? Maybe a few weeks or months down the road, I may love the job itself enough to ignore the low salary and by then, people around me will be listening to me singing praises to the job instead.
So... Why will someone up there be giving me a job that is close by but not high in salary? Or they think I need to work harder? Maybe... To the extend of giving me a job that will MINUS your pay for tardiness or lousy job done or something along that line...
There are many times, especially since I reached the 20+ of age, that I feel like I'm not living the life that I ought to. Unfortunately a couple of blows to my ego and self confidence reduce my already pathetic state to a more coward/lazy one.
I often questioned myself, if given a chance, would I choose the "correct" path if I could go back in time? But then again, who was to deem which path is the "correct" one? It's not as if my current life is the worst (nor is it the best either).
At the very least, I do have a very competent dear (though at times it is not so good cos I feel I am not good enough).
Since turning back time is not possible, at least not in current era, the only thing I can do is to craft my future.
Easier said than done I know, but if I don't even try, I will always remain in the state of self pity or even in depression...
Writings always soothe me down somehow... If there is anything I am glad of, it should be my desire to write, cos without it, I would have gone crazy with all these thoughts in my mind and probably do the unthinkable...
Hmm... Maybe a congratulation to myself for landing a job, close to my home too, just one bad thing... The salary is way lower than expected and even before I start working, I feel as if there is a lot of expectation set for me... No wonder the lady working there told me the company is extremely stingy...
I'm trying to keep a positive mindset, cos, who knows? Maybe a few weeks or months down the road, I may love the job itself enough to ignore the low salary and by then, people around me will be listening to me singing praises to the job instead.
So... Why will someone up there be giving me a job that is close by but not high in salary? Or they think I need to work harder? Maybe... To the extend of giving me a job that will MINUS your pay for tardiness or lousy job done or something along that line...
There are many times, especially since I reached the 20+ of age, that I feel like I'm not living the life that I ought to. Unfortunately a couple of blows to my ego and self confidence reduce my already pathetic state to a more coward/lazy one.
I often questioned myself, if given a chance, would I choose the "correct" path if I could go back in time? But then again, who was to deem which path is the "correct" one? It's not as if my current life is the worst (nor is it the best either).
At the very least, I do have a very competent dear (though at times it is not so good cos I feel I am not good enough).
Since turning back time is not possible, at least not in current era, the only thing I can do is to craft my future.
Easier said than done I know, but if I don't even try, I will always remain in the state of self pity or even in depression...
Writings always soothe me down somehow... If there is anything I am glad of, it should be my desire to write, cos without it, I would have gone crazy with all these thoughts in my mind and probably do the unthinkable...
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Random thought of the day
More often than not, especially when I am jobless ( cos if I am having a job, my mind would be occupied by what I need to finish for that day isn't it? Or perhaps I'd be too tired to think anyway ) my mind will be making me feeling with guilt of being jobless. Not that I didn't try to seek for one, mind you, its just that I have yet gotten the job ( leave it to you to think be it my dream job or just any job ).
Anyway, once guilt ridden, my attention somehow always went to the most extremely irrelevant thoughts and today, it is "What if I am born into a different era or that I can travel back in time, perhaps during the World War II, the Japanese Occupation in Singapore time?" It's not that I like war or anything for that matter. I am just thinking that perhaps a day or two in that era would probably make me mature overnight. One just have to in that period of rough time. Or make me panic enough to realize how fortunate we are now and how short life can be.
I can, however, imagine that I might be shallow enough to worry about the lack of air con or fridge or any of the current comfort lifestyle that these generations now seems to take for granted of. One may asked "Why that era?" Well, for the most basic reason, I guessed I had been having such thoughts since back in Secondary 1 or 2, when my history teacher, Miss Ong, was teaching us the history of Singapore, no one in class was ever bored or inattentive. True, her prizes for the top students in her class ( such as vouchers for Popular bookstore attracts bookworms like me, or a free meal at Seoul Garden which is probably a great deal for the cash strapped students back at my time, or maybe a CD of your choice ) were one of the reasons why everyone paid attention, but also her incredible way of narrating the history to the extend that I felt like the history was unfolded before my very eyes and that as if we were participating the history right there, right in the class.
I can still remember crystal clearly that the frustration we felt when our country fell into the wrong hands and by no less, a lie, that would have been unfounded if only we could tell the information that we knew, to the top authority. Of cos that was only one of the emotions that were to come till I graduated from history or rather, till Miss Ong no longer taught me anyway.
Hmm... Oh well, I shall leave it here for today then...
Anyway, once guilt ridden, my attention somehow always went to the most extremely irrelevant thoughts and today, it is "What if I am born into a different era or that I can travel back in time, perhaps during the World War II, the Japanese Occupation in Singapore time?" It's not that I like war or anything for that matter. I am just thinking that perhaps a day or two in that era would probably make me mature overnight. One just have to in that period of rough time. Or make me panic enough to realize how fortunate we are now and how short life can be.
I can, however, imagine that I might be shallow enough to worry about the lack of air con or fridge or any of the current comfort lifestyle that these generations now seems to take for granted of. One may asked "Why that era?" Well, for the most basic reason, I guessed I had been having such thoughts since back in Secondary 1 or 2, when my history teacher, Miss Ong, was teaching us the history of Singapore, no one in class was ever bored or inattentive. True, her prizes for the top students in her class ( such as vouchers for Popular bookstore attracts bookworms like me, or a free meal at Seoul Garden which is probably a great deal for the cash strapped students back at my time, or maybe a CD of your choice ) were one of the reasons why everyone paid attention, but also her incredible way of narrating the history to the extend that I felt like the history was unfolded before my very eyes and that as if we were participating the history right there, right in the class.
I can still remember crystal clearly that the frustration we felt when our country fell into the wrong hands and by no less, a lie, that would have been unfounded if only we could tell the information that we knew, to the top authority. Of cos that was only one of the emotions that were to come till I graduated from history or rather, till Miss Ong no longer taught me anyway.
Hmm... Oh well, I shall leave it here for today then...
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