Mixed feelings

I know its the first day of Chinese New Year, and started pretty well... So why am I now semi upset?

Cos one of my darling chinchillas, Lizzy, has fallen ill. In fact she's so weak, I am not sure how to handle her...

Cat said she suspected its vaginal infection and if left untreated or not treated in time, Lizzy will die. I froze but only recover when my brother started yelling at me to be fast.

I... can't remember when was the last time I saw my chinchillas died before me.

So... Why do I remember the pain so well? The lost of Roxy, Silver, Dusk, Dawn, Sweetie and so much more ( even Noby had left early this year... ), the overwhelming sensation...

Some people say "They are just pets and if you can't handle, you shouldn't be taking care of them at all."

But they are more than that. They comforted me when I was sad. They calmed me down when I was mad. The joy and happiness of training them to do something for the first time, its almost like they are my kids. They ARE my darlings. My babies. How would you feel to see your child died?

Tears still do threaten to overwhelm me whenever I think of my passed away darlings, especially Devi, whom I had taken an extra fond liking to. He's my little coward, my little darling.

Only those who have pets and feelings for their pets before will understand what I am going through.

Unfortunately, the ones that I hoped might understand don't and the ones I don't want to does.

The world is that warped.